On kids, kash and the Kingdom
4:30pm scenario on any given day: one of my hungry offspring standing in the kitchen yelling at me that they are hungry.
me: "I'm making dinner. You may have carrots or (insert some other low calorie vegetable here) to snack on while you wait."
squalling kid: "I don't like those choices. What else is there?"
me: "You may have those choices or you can wait for dinner."
sulking kid: "what's for dinner?"
me: "(some obligatory combination of carbs, undressed vegetable, not-too-fancy-protein and possibly a side of fruit)"
kid: "AAAAAAAWWRRRRGGGGGGHHHH!!! There's NOTHING for me to eat!"
All this, while we stand in a kitchen with 350 things in the fridge, freezer and pantry combined.
It drives me NUTS. How did our kids become so ungrateful? If they were living as 85% of the rest of the world, they would receive a half a cup of ANYTHING with dinner with gratitude. Sometimes I want to move to Uganda and live there for a year with nothing but rice to eat just so that they could learn to be grateful for the bounty we have. I am flummoxed by their spoiltness. We make it a habit to thank God for all our meals, to talk about the less privileged, to talk about the blessings we have in choice - so WHERE DID THIS ATTITUDE COME FROM?
And then one morning I catch myself standing in front of a closet full of clothes, and these words come out of my mouth: "I have nothing to wear."
Busted.
I guess that's where they learned it.
I am reading Jen Hatmaker's book "7" at the moment, which chronicles her experience of identifying 7 years of excess in her life and spending a month "cleaning up her act" in each one. A month wearing only 7 items of clothing. A month eating only 7 types of food etc.
It's a book I wish I had written, not just because it's funny and insightful and quite marvelous - but because it's an experiment I think I would do well to learn from. I suspect there are MANY things God would have me learn about Himself, myself and others by reducing the amount of "clutter" and unimportant decisions I make every day. But how? How to do it without driving the whole family crazy?
I'm thinking about this bit by bit - and so far these two things have emerged.
1) I am done with small yogurt containers.
This may seem a silly thing, but tiny yogurts represent the height of wasteful individualism in my house. Each person getting the exact flavor and texture they want, whenever they want it. And refusing to eat anyone else's chosen flavors. Oh, and the TRASH it generates! I am religious about recycling, but even so - wouldn't it be better to have not bought so much plastic in the first place?
So I'm buying big yogurts. And the choice, dear squalling children, is to eat yogurt or not eat yogurt. That is all. There will be no more fussing about the fact that "you only like the one with the yellow cow picture". Less choice. less decision making about minutiae. Less waste.
2) I sold some big toys my kids hardly play with.
We were gifted two fabulous toys in the past 2 years: a giant plastic play house, and a big red wagon. the kids played with the house for the first 2 months, but these days it just sits there waiting for black widows to take up residence. And the wagon can't be used safely or easily in our current yard.
So I sold them on craigslist. But here's the rub. Since they were gifts, pocketing the cash to add to our grocery budget seems wrong. But we sure don't need any new toys. So what to do with it?
It doesn't solve the 4:30pm "I have nothing to eat" problem.
But it's a start. And with God's help - it's one of many similar little lessons on this all-important-path to learning what really matters.
me: "I'm making dinner. You may have carrots or (insert some other low calorie vegetable here) to snack on while you wait."
squalling kid: "I don't like those choices. What else is there?"
me: "You may have those choices or you can wait for dinner."
sulking kid: "what's for dinner?"
me: "(some obligatory combination of carbs, undressed vegetable, not-too-fancy-protein and possibly a side of fruit)"
kid: "AAAAAAAWWRRRRGGGGGGHHHH!!! There's NOTHING for me to eat!"
All this, while we stand in a kitchen with 350 things in the fridge, freezer and pantry combined.
It drives me NUTS. How did our kids become so ungrateful? If they were living as 85% of the rest of the world, they would receive a half a cup of ANYTHING with dinner with gratitude. Sometimes I want to move to Uganda and live there for a year with nothing but rice to eat just so that they could learn to be grateful for the bounty we have. I am flummoxed by their spoiltness. We make it a habit to thank God for all our meals, to talk about the less privileged, to talk about the blessings we have in choice - so WHERE DID THIS ATTITUDE COME FROM?
And then one morning I catch myself standing in front of a closet full of clothes, and these words come out of my mouth: "I have nothing to wear."
Busted.
I guess that's where they learned it.
I am reading Jen Hatmaker's book "7" at the moment, which chronicles her experience of identifying 7 years of excess in her life and spending a month "cleaning up her act" in each one. A month wearing only 7 items of clothing. A month eating only 7 types of food etc.
It's a book I wish I had written, not just because it's funny and insightful and quite marvelous - but because it's an experiment I think I would do well to learn from. I suspect there are MANY things God would have me learn about Himself, myself and others by reducing the amount of "clutter" and unimportant decisions I make every day. But how? How to do it without driving the whole family crazy?
I'm thinking about this bit by bit - and so far these two things have emerged.
1) I am done with small yogurt containers.
This may seem a silly thing, but tiny yogurts represent the height of wasteful individualism in my house. Each person getting the exact flavor and texture they want, whenever they want it. And refusing to eat anyone else's chosen flavors. Oh, and the TRASH it generates! I am religious about recycling, but even so - wouldn't it be better to have not bought so much plastic in the first place?
So I'm buying big yogurts. And the choice, dear squalling children, is to eat yogurt or not eat yogurt. That is all. There will be no more fussing about the fact that "you only like the one with the yellow cow picture". Less choice. less decision making about minutiae. Less waste.
2) I sold some big toys my kids hardly play with.
We were gifted two fabulous toys in the past 2 years: a giant plastic play house, and a big red wagon. the kids played with the house for the first 2 months, but these days it just sits there waiting for black widows to take up residence. And the wagon can't be used safely or easily in our current yard.
So I sold them on craigslist. But here's the rub. Since they were gifts, pocketing the cash to add to our grocery budget seems wrong. But we sure don't need any new toys. So what to do with it?
(INSERT ANGELIC CHORAL EPIPHANY NOISES HERE!!!!)
So we decided to let the kids spend the cash - with one proviso - they could spend it to help others who don't have even the basics, much less luxuries like hundreds of dollars worth of unplayed-with-toys. C doesn't get it yet, but T is excited. Food for the Hungry is getting a donation care of the Lea children, to give Limenor Pauleus, our Haitian sponsor kiddo whose face smiles at us from our fridge, a meal a day this month, and the ability to go to school.It doesn't solve the 4:30pm "I have nothing to eat" problem.
But it's a start. And with God's help - it's one of many similar little lessons on this all-important-path to learning what really matters.
posted by Bronwyn at 8:22 pm
2 Comments:
Good for you!! Very inspiring...I gotta read that book- I've heard only good things about it.
It's amazing how easy it is to continually want more and more material things. If you had told me 10 years ago what I would possess today I would have been amazed. And yet here I am and some days I still wish for more. I find that I need to remind myself how privileged I am (That smiling face on the fridge is a good example)
Gavin
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