How I feel

My mom asked me last week how I was doing. I didn't know how to answer. 

Tired, because the baby is teething and keeping us up for hours.

Sad, because a dear family friend passed away.

Hopeful, because the death of a believer always reminds me that the chief benefit of being a Christian is beyond this life.

Joyful, because so much in my life is blessed.

Entertained, because my kids crack me up.

Serious, because my to do list has some very big things on it.

Frustrated, because I spend so much time on Facebook instead of tackling said to do list.

Prayerful, because our Mormon friends came for dinner last night and it was wonderful, tough, hilarious, poignant... And we're seeing them again soon.

Excited, because the move to a new public blog has generated so much interest and encouragement and it feels like a new phase of *something* in my life, but...

Anxious, because I don't know that *something* will look like. I have always imagined you, a known face, as I write. But a public blog feels different: writing for people who don't necessarily know me, and to whom I can't say "you know what I mean?", because they probably don't. 

I said to my mom: "I don't know how I am. It's just all so very REAL LIFE.  and grown up. every day I run the whole gamut of emotions: laughing and crying and yelling and sighing and giggling and also just doing plain old laundry and wiping the floors. Every day."

I'm not "fine". I'm not "good". Im not "busy". None of those are good enough descriptors. And I'm too old and nerdy to say I'm "keepin it real."

Thanks for listening. That wasnt a one-word, socially acceptable answer to the polite question "how are you"? But that's how I am. And when I think of the Multi-faceted variegated textures of life for us at the moment, I can't help but think that but for the grace and love of God, and the most wonderful, talented, loving, warm friends and family I could imagine - today wouldn't be possible.

Which makes me think to add just one more thing that I am right now:

Thankful. For every gift and opportunity and joy and comfort and blessing - and YOU are definitely part of that.