on rest and recreation.... part 2
A couple of months ago I blogged about rest; particularly wondering how mothers of young children could factor in times of rest amidst the never-ending-work at home. The comments were so encouraging and instructive! This week, I had the opportunity to speak on the topic of rest and work again; and since the topic was fresh in my mind, thought I'd put the metaphorical "pen to paper" ("fingers to keyboard" is less poetic), and share my additional thoughts on how to make rest and refreshment happen during this stage of my life.
In finding the balance between work and rest, I need to WORK AT RESTING. In other words, work is the part that seems to come naturally, but rest is counter-cultural and often guilt-laden.... so I need to work at it. I think this has two implications:
Firstly, it means rest needs to be intentional. I need to plan it, be deliberate about it. This week I asked the lovely young lady I'm mentoring to come and watch my kids for an hour so I could go and ride on a harley davidson. It was such fun and really relaxing too, but wouldn't have happened without some planning. I doubt harley-riding will be a regular restful activity, but I'm encouraged to think about refreshing things that I LIKE doing, and find a way to do them every now and again.
Secondly, rest requires some faith- that life will continue, that there will be other opportunities to get things done, that my home won't fall apart, that the dust bunnies in my house will not actually take on real, live personalities and eat my poor, neglected children. I rest not because my work is done, but because sometimes - the work can wait. What I told the students on Tuesday night I was really telling myself: "It takes faith to believe that there is enough time in each day to do all the work God has called you to do, as well as to REST as he has called you to... and if there isn't enough time, then maybe you're trying to do more than God has called you to right now."
I am convinced that God is neither impressed nor honored by perpetual exhaustion. Sure, there are times in life when we get really, really tired - but that shouldn't be the pattern for most of the time. I just finished re-reading 'Stepping Heavenward' and from the entire re-reading of the book, the thing that struck me the most was the part where the author, herself the mother of 3 young children with seemingly unending housework to do and buttons to sew and mouths to feed, was finding herself snappish and irritable and exhausted - and unable to find a way out of the cycle. More than that, she felt horribly guilty about the angry and mean-spirited things she kept on saying and doing, and despaired at the negative person she was becoming. Her husband eventually pushed her out of the house to take a drive with him while she protested all the way about the things she was leaving unfinished behind her... and once they were in the clear air they began to talk. He suggested to her that perhaps she should consider taking on only that which she was able to do calmly and cheerfully. Her irritability, he said, was not a matter of bad character, but of exhaustion..... I was struck to the core. It is better (for me, for my family, for God!) to do fewer things calmly, than a mountain of things while feeling chafed to the bone.
Finally, I'm realizing that rest doesn't always mean being alone. I'm learning to rest in the midst of chaos, and in the presence of others. I am learning that rest is more of a conscious choice - a time to allow myself to relax and be refreshed in the moment, without thinking of what needs to come next. This seems like a petty thing to mention - but it has been HUGE for me to realize that even though dinner needs to be made and bible study needs to be prepared and checks need to be mailed - in that moment while I'm in the garden with my kids, I can do none of those other tasks so I may as well just sit back and rub my toes in the grass, smell the roses with them, and blow bubbles with them while they laugh and chase them. Just this morning, I spent an hour lying in a giant corn bath with my kiddos... and come to think of it - that's wonderfully restful, isn't it?
Thanks for all those comments six months ago, friends. I hope you're resting better too.
In finding the balance between work and rest, I need to WORK AT RESTING. In other words, work is the part that seems to come naturally, but rest is counter-cultural and often guilt-laden.... so I need to work at it. I think this has two implications:
Firstly, it means rest needs to be intentional. I need to plan it, be deliberate about it. This week I asked the lovely young lady I'm mentoring to come and watch my kids for an hour so I could go and ride on a harley davidson. It was such fun and really relaxing too, but wouldn't have happened without some planning. I doubt harley-riding will be a regular restful activity, but I'm encouraged to think about refreshing things that I LIKE doing, and find a way to do them every now and again.
Secondly, rest requires some faith- that life will continue, that there will be other opportunities to get things done, that my home won't fall apart, that the dust bunnies in my house will not actually take on real, live personalities and eat my poor, neglected children. I rest not because my work is done, but because sometimes - the work can wait. What I told the students on Tuesday night I was really telling myself: "It takes faith to believe that there is enough time in each day to do all the work God has called you to do, as well as to REST as he has called you to... and if there isn't enough time, then maybe you're trying to do more than God has called you to right now."
I am convinced that God is neither impressed nor honored by perpetual exhaustion. Sure, there are times in life when we get really, really tired - but that shouldn't be the pattern for most of the time. I just finished re-reading 'Stepping Heavenward' and from the entire re-reading of the book, the thing that struck me the most was the part where the author, herself the mother of 3 young children with seemingly unending housework to do and buttons to sew and mouths to feed, was finding herself snappish and irritable and exhausted - and unable to find a way out of the cycle. More than that, she felt horribly guilty about the angry and mean-spirited things she kept on saying and doing, and despaired at the negative person she was becoming. Her husband eventually pushed her out of the house to take a drive with him while she protested all the way about the things she was leaving unfinished behind her... and once they were in the clear air they began to talk. He suggested to her that perhaps she should consider taking on only that which she was able to do calmly and cheerfully. Her irritability, he said, was not a matter of bad character, but of exhaustion..... I was struck to the core. It is better (for me, for my family, for God!) to do fewer things calmly, than a mountain of things while feeling chafed to the bone.
Finally, I'm realizing that rest doesn't always mean being alone. I'm learning to rest in the midst of chaos, and in the presence of others. I am learning that rest is more of a conscious choice - a time to allow myself to relax and be refreshed in the moment, without thinking of what needs to come next. This seems like a petty thing to mention - but it has been HUGE for me to realize that even though dinner needs to be made and bible study needs to be prepared and checks need to be mailed - in that moment while I'm in the garden with my kids, I can do none of those other tasks so I may as well just sit back and rub my toes in the grass, smell the roses with them, and blow bubbles with them while they laugh and chase them. Just this morning, I spent an hour lying in a giant corn bath with my kiddos... and come to think of it - that's wonderfully restful, isn't it?
Thanks for all those comments six months ago, friends. I hope you're resting better too.
posted by Bronwyn at 2:45 pm
2 Comments:
You are very skilled at putting very big things into very good words. And yes, I just wrote "very" three times. I am going to print this out for myself to reread. I am encouraged. Thank you. And for the record, your blog requires that I type in the letters that I see before I comment, and you know what I see? MERMEN. How's that for funny?!?
Bron, I always read your blog with such pleasure and your post about rest truly strikes a cord; now with two little ones myself all your comments about needing to value all of our time, and to plan and recognise rest are very wise and a good reminder. Many thanks (and apologies for lurking and not thanking you - or saying hello - sooner)
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